God's Paintbrush

"Pick me up like a paintbrush, God. Dip it in the colors of my life. Paint Your picture, Father. And fashion a heart that is wholly Yours".......

We started our 2nd adoption journey just a little over a year ago. Even though this is our second adoption, I feel more nervous this time around. The lyrics above is from a song our girls dance to at the end of the year at FAA Dance Academy. I can barely get through the first few words before I'm on my knees or crying.  This song makes me also think of JE!! One question that many have asked or are thinking is about JE and his special need and why would we want to take on a child with known and unknown needs. And I can only answer that this way… “We were yet again awakened to the reality of our own spiritual condition before our adoption and His extravagant, sacrificial Love that adopted and redeemed us.” Every child deserves a family and the opportunity to become an eagle and soar.

I know its been awhile since our last blog entry. So the update is on last Friday, he complete the last step of the adoption process; the visa interview which was approved. So now we wait on invitation to travel.

I have to admit, I have so many emotions going on inside of me....scared is one...unsure/uncertain is another…..every time I want to say...let's run while we can, I hear..."Paint Your picture, Father. And fashion a heart that is wholly Yours". This morning, I asked the kids 2 questions: 1)What are you most excited about with Joseph coming and 2)What are you most concern with? Wow...the answers range from various things and blew my mind. Right before my eyes, I see the hearts of my entire family becoming more than Tyvon and I have ever prayed for. While living in Japan…we frequently told God to break our hearts for what breaks His. We wanted to have passion and desire for the things that excited the heart of God. "Take Your fingers, God Master Potter Come mold the clay. Tell Your story, As You mold me, Fashion a heart that is wholly Yours......!" I wonder how he will respond to us in country and the first weeks and months of being home. Did I read enough, watch enough, and study enough to be the parent to walk him through the bittersweet time of Loss and Gain? What grade do I put him in? Which team of doctors should we use? Did I pack everything? How will the kids do while we are gone; especially EJ? Lord continue to mold each of us individually as you shape this family that you are building in a way that blows our mind so frequently. Then I hear a small voice say “I’ve wrecked your heart to care about the least of these; I can’t promise you it will be easy but I will be with you ALWAYS.”

"Take Your fingers, God Master Potter Come mold the clay, Tell Your story As You mold me. Fashion a heart that is wholly Yours"..........

I started this post yesterday (Friday the 5th), and this morning I'm still emotional after our Skype date with JE. It was so sweet. I read him “Love you Forever.” JE just got a new hair cut that Tyvon and I just love....he is PERFECT. "And sign Your name, sign Your name, On the picture..." WOW….the love and feelings I have for this boy that I have never actually met in person can’t even be explain.  I can see now how God has been preparing Tyvon and I for years for this life He has called us to live out for His kingdom cause.

"And write your name, write Your name, In the clay. And sign Your name, sign Your name, On the picture...."

This picture that Abba Father is painting is amazing!! Every day He does a new thing in our hearts. Even though I'm nervous and have questions, I'm at peace because I know Daddy God is orchestrating this entire painting. Soon we will meet our boy face to face…I can’t promise what my reaction will be since I can’t seem to stop crying already.  Baby boy we are coming for you and we are honored and humble to get to be your forever family!! We promise to fight every day to be the Father and Mother you need!!

"Take all I am, Take all I have, I am Yours forever, forever........."