Those of you who knew me since I was younger, know that having five kids
was never on my radar. I had it all planned out; a husband and two kids…maybe a
third. However God has a way to show you the plan He has for your life. "Many
are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will
stand" Proverbs 19:21. I had plans of working for a large accounting firm
and many other things. A year or so after having AT, my true passion pushed
through which is the education field. I desire to be a college professor and a position like that one will allow me to spend a lot of quality time with our
children.
Tyvon and I joke at times with each other about JE
being our last child; saying this is our last adoption. However we know that if
God directs us to go down this road again we will. After JE gets home, our plan
is to enjoy being a family of 7 and a very transracial family living only God
knows where for a good number of years. We pray that we will be able to birth some
type of missions ministry that the entire family can take part in. We also hope
to do some international mission trips with the entire family.
Adopting a child with a special need….ARE YOU CRAZY? Yes
we are; crazy in love with the things that are on God’s heart. Looking back
now, I see why we walked through what we did with AT's ears, speech therapy,
major surgeries and now a hearing aid. It was all preparation that soften and
open our hearts to desire to parent a child with a special need. All of our
children, including JE who we are working to be approved to be his dad and mom
and give him the gift of family, are perfect just the way they are!! Uniquely
made in the image of God!! “You made all the delicate, inner parts
of my body
and
knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully
complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You
watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I
was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was
born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid
out
before
a single day had passed” Psalms 139:13-14. Before our adoption of EJ from Ghana,
Tyvon and I discussed the various types of special needs we felt we could
maneuver with all the dynamics of our family life and the demands of our
careers.
Why aren’t you adopting from here; there’s many black
children in foster care? So first you adopted from Ghana, Africa and now the
Philippines; he won’t look like you. He will feel left out; he will feel like
the odd ball. These are some of the questions and statements we have heard. My
first answer…if you feel so strongly about the foster care programs in America,
why don’t you adopt a child or two. Secondly, we have looked into that route
more than once and every door closed each time we tried. We felt like God
directed us to Ghana and why not…they are our family. Ghana and Ivory Coast is
where most of our ancestors are from. And why can’t a black family raise an
African child. As for the awesome boy we are bringing home from the Philippines.
It’s a people group that we have connected strongly to. Our inner circle of
family/friends are made up of people that look a lot like us and completely
different from us. Again…why can’t a black family raise an Asian child? A child
can be raised by their biological family and feel like the odd ball. The love
that we have for our children goes deeper and is much stronger than blood and
skin color.
Adoption….its messy. It was messy when Jesus had to die on
the cross due to the sin and choices that were made in the Garden of Eden.
Adoption is worth it….not because you get to say “look at me, I’m wonderful”
but because you get to see how not so wonderful you are. God is able to work on
the hearts of all involved. Adoption isn’t plan A….we were supposed to live in
the Garden of Eden forever and commune with God. EJ and JE, in the perfect
world, would be with their birth families but because we live in a fallen
world, choices that were made, situations, etc etc resulted in adoption. We
will always do our best to honor their first (birth) family and culture and they
will forever be apart of our family.
Happy National Adoption Month!!
Taken
from a foster mom’s blog…
“It’s true that she and I are very different. I was adopted (in the
family of God) and she wasn’t. She brought him into the world and I didn’t. I
know him in ways she doesn’t.
And every time I say “Come to Mama” I am reminded that there is another.
But in this we are the same. She and I are both the other mother.” Read the entire blog entry here….
