Thursday, March 28, 2013

DRUMROLL....

It is official....legal....whatever the politically correct word is!! We are happy to announce that we are the PROUD family of 3 girls and 1 BOY!! We passed court today in Ghana making us a family of 6. He is a Petway!! I'm like 95% sure his initials will be EJP!!

Look how God works.....
Its amazing how he looks like he could be my biological child and he has alot of Tyvon's giftings. A month ago on Feb 28 we got on a plane to go meet him and today March 28, he became our son in the eyes of the court system!! Another..wow moment.....Our son's name (EN) is the exact same first and last name as one of my current students who is from Ghana but moved here to America with his family since he was around 3.

When I received the messages, I burst in tears while trying to contact Ty and tell him the good news!! Its like when you go into labor and call your spouse to tell them that you are labor. Then you get to the hospital and the doctor confirms that you are in ACTIVE LABOR. So I would say we are in active labor...don't ask how many centimeters we are but I would guess around 4 and since this is an adoption...we have 6 centimeters to go until we BIRTH (bring him home) him. As we all know...it could go swiftly or it could go very slow; but trusting that GOD is in CONTROL!!

I have so many emotions stirring up in me but one thing I know is that God really has showed and will continue to show his RESURRECTION POWER!!!

Are you ready to get dirty....

Caution....this may get to real for many of you!!!

Adoption is messy! Adoption brings out the real in you and others surrounding you. When we decided to pursue international adoption, we knew that it would have its challenges. But can I be real...some days are harder than others. Some days I want to throw in the towel out of fear and all the many unknowns. About 2 weeks ago, a situation presented itself in the IA world and its still lurking but we trust our God is in control. When we first learn of it, I related it to an incident we encountered a few years back. When we were pregnant with our last baby girl, I had some complications and was told that I would miscarry the baby. That was IT....no consoling me, emotions nothing and walk out the room. I got dress walked back to the waiting room where my BFF Heather was waiting for me (Tyvon was away for training at the time) and looked at her a bust out in tears. When I got home, and was sitting to myself, I cried out to God. I laid hands on my belly and declared that our child would live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. Our baby girl is alive and well and will be turning 4 this year. However 2 weeks ago, I felt like we were miscarrying our paper pregnancy (adoption) and couldn't find the strengthen to muster up the FAITH that I had almost 4 years ago. But Praise be to GOD...for my great prayer group who encouraged my spirit!! This is truly an emotional journey and faith walk.

In this process you have to soley rely on what you know God has spoken to you. Not at any moment, can you take your eyes off of God. There are many moments and situations that evolves doing this process that you have no choice but to look unto HIM in EXPECTATION. During this process, God allows you to see alot about yourself. You are able to see weaknesses you didn't know you had or that you thought you had overcome. Also you are able to see how strong you are in God. Prayer is vital during this time and knowing how to respond: BE STILL or MOVE with the STRATEGY God spoke to you during prayer. And yes being paper pregnant is filled with the same feelings, emotions, symptoms as someone who is physically pregnant.

One thing for sure...God never said it would be easy. He didn't say we wouldn't get dirty. But we can rest in the fact that He said that he would never Leave Us or Forsake Us!!


Below are 2 of the Promises of God that I keep close and dear to me during this process.....

Hab 2:3 For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it testifies about the end and will not lie. Though it delays, wait for it, since it will certainly come and not be late (It will come right on time).

Ps. 25:3 No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame

The Motherland

I began writing this post on 3/18/2013...

Say it with me......I went to Africa......I went to AFRICA. My husband and I had the wonderful opportunity through our international adoption to be able to go back to the place that our forefathers came from. Our trip to Ghana was much more than just to meet our son. It had so much other meaning behind it! Going to any country in Africa has always been one of the things on my dream places to go. We have had the opportunity to live in  Okinawa, Japan and visit Iwakuni, Yokota, Cambodia, the Philipines and many Caribbean islands since we have been married. Some of those experiences prepared me for 3rd world countries so I was prepared for the most part of what I would see.

Many people have asked me if I was Jamaican and while preparing for the trip to Ghana, it was a running joke that many would think I was African. And yes...the minute I stepped off the plane at the airport, people tried to speak to me in Twi or another dialect in which I had to tell them that I'm American an only spoke English. When describing my nationality, I would say "Black" American because if I said African American, the people there thought I was an African living in America. My husband on the other hand....they called him "half-cast" and said that to them one of his parents would be white and the other African. Besides white people, he was the lightest person I saw while there. In America we are used to the many array of shades people are but not in Africa.

Adoption----We are the 1st Black American people that have adopted from our agency and POA. Also many of the people we encountered, never met a Black American who adopted internationally. I know of one who is Black American and her husband is Ghanaian and was so happy that we connect. They are also a military family!!!! We all were anxious to see how things work doing our adoption....ie when we were out with our son, no one gave us a second look (glance) because he could just pass for our family. There was not immediate concern or alert that we were child trafficking.  NOW the big question.....why don't Black Americans adopt internationally. While Black Americans do adopt domestically the numbers are lower than that of our white american counterparts. There may be Black Americans who adopt internationally but the numbers are very few. I myself believe that it may be a cultural thing, lack of knowledge and awareness. In most (I'm not saying all) predominately black churches missions and orphans are discussed at all or not on the level that it is discussed, encouraged and support in predominately white churches or true multicultural churches.  Please feel free to add your comments; again this is just my thought. I'm praying that this changes and that all people of God get to know all aspects of the Father's heart that He has revealed to us in scriptures.

Boy.... were we welcome by our African brothers and sisters. They made us feel welcomed and right at home. We had the honor to be in company with many brothers and sisters making an impact for Christ in their land and neighborhoods in Ghana. Met some great people and one awesome family in particular, Auntie Comfort and her family. We hug, shed tears, laugh, prayed and blessed each other. A lifetime bond was created in a matter of spending a few hours together. We got to attend church in Africa...and I was overwhelmed with so many emotions while just sitting there and enjoying the service. I don't even know how to explain it but it was like....I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THERE. We had the opportunity to tour the facility and spend a little time with the pastor and his family! We also were able to visit some other orphanages and when we returned home, we receive a message that the kids were happy to see us, who look liked them, coming to Ghana to adopt!! Whew....that helped calm my nerves and some unspoken fears...lol!! And then our taxi driver....no he is more than that...our brother. Patrick was God sent...he took us everywhere and spent a day and a half with us meaning he didn't work those days his normal routes. We did all that we could to bless him monetarily and to let him know we truly appreciated him. Him and his wife are expecting their first child....a baby girl; he contacted us recently to tell us he bought some beautiful dress with the money we left for him to buy her a gift.

So many more stories I may think about and will post as they come to me....

Monday, March 11, 2013

We finally met face to face

I think I'm at a place where I can talk.......Our trip was amazing. I have no doubt that God is in every detail of this adoption. He could not have matched us with anyone no better than what he did.

The Sunday before we left, our church sent us out with prayers and declarations......

Thursday/Friday - I started the day by going to work a half day since we were flying our late that evening; what in the world was I thinking. Once I got home, I made a video of the house to show our boy once we got to Accra. Tyvon and I went to see the girls at school and gave them lots of love and hugs. Some wonderful family friends took us to the airport and it was a blessed time. Our flight to Amsterdam went smoothly. We had a 6 hour layover and met another adoptive mommy going to Ghana without her hubby. We took this opportunity to roam the city. My relationship with the Ghana adoptive mommy is truly ordained by the Spirit of God. Finally it was time to board the plane to Accra and the nerves started to come; I was just full of emotions. When we landed in Accra, it was Friday evening so we wouldn't meet our son until Saturday.

Saturday - I tossed and turned all night long. So much going through my mind while my hubby was sound asleep beside me. I think I woke up around 6am...LOL!! We got up, rearranged the donations bag, called our POA and went downstairs to eat breakfast. I walked outside to assess the weather and it was HOT!!!! We loaded the car and was on our way to another region about 2 to 3 hours away. We were in AFRICA......REALLY (that will have to be another blog post)!! We talked with our POA and learn much about Ghana, adoptions, etc. He is excited along with our agency to have Black Americans adopting internationally; we are the 1st for both of them. Its uncommon for African (Black) Americans to adopt internationally but again that will be another blog. So after our long but very interesting and entertaining drive we were there. Got out the car...butterflies in my stomach. I look at the tin gate as children came out but it wasn't our son each time. I turned to the car to help unload bags and then he walked up behind me and smile, gave me a hug and said Hello Mommy. As I type this blog, my heart is filled with joy and pain (missing him), I can still hear his small little voice. Tyvon looked so happy. Along with the POA and the Auntie (foster mom), we passed out donations. Those children were so grateful for what they receive even though the items weren't always a perfect size match they held them up with honor; humbling moment. The package we sent him a few weeks ahead of us didn't make it into his hands until that day, so we got to see his emotions and expressions.....PRICELESS. After spending about an hour at the foster home, we took our son with us to check into our hotel  for some bonding time. In the car he was so happy and sat very close to me in the back seat. At one point he looked up at me and said "Mommy can I have some water please," and I gladly gave him my bottle of water. Once in our hotel room, we spent the first part of our time letting him look at all the gifts we brought with us on this trip. He loved loved loved the Etch-a-Sketch!! Then we watch the videos that we made; one from the girls and one touring his new home. The look on his face as he watched each video brought so much joy to our hearts. He kept replaying and smiling at the part where we showed him his room; heart flutters. He speaks enough English to communicate basic things to us and we began to teach him new words while we were together. Even though he is 5 years, we will still have the opportunity to share in many of his "FIRST" experience; things like 1st bath, 1st time riding a bike, teaching him how to use a bathroom and the appropriate words to say when communicating different things. As many of you know, Tyvon loves tapping on EVERYTHING and plays percussion....and what would you know....our adorable son start tapping out of nowhere as we were sitting around relaxing together. After the 1st day, Tyvon said that he acts a lot like our oldest daughter. During our 1st day we also taught him how to play Matching, take pictures on our cameras and talk on a cell phone. He was able to talk to his sisters and Nana, my mom.

Sunday---I barely slept again. We woke up and prepared for our day. We decided to go to church with the kiddos then an afternoon of sightseeing. It was another wonderful day with our boy. We also found out that he likes to sing and loves music; how could this be that he is so much like us but not our biological child.....OUR GOD knows how to match us. This brings me to one of our adoption verses in John 1:12-13. Even though he was born of us, he is so much like us because he is our son through GOD!! "But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God." Oh how this verse speaks to my heart in so many ways. Through this adoption process many sisters and brothers have been birth to us through our great God. At the Botanical Gardens, he walked with Tyvon most of the time....it was a beautiful site to see them walk hand and hand. Again today we got to experience many 1st for him!!!

Monday---bittersweet day as we would be travelling back to Accra to spend our last night in Ghana there. We packed our bags and checked out of the hotel to head to spend the morning with the kiddos at their school. It was a great morning but our son was sad because he knew we would leave today. We were able to teach some of the classes; mostly Tyvon because I kept hopping from class to class. We brought Honey Nut Cheerios for all the kids and it was a BIG hit for all of them!!! We tried to get as much one on one time with our son  as possible especially when we saw his mood changing. It was hard trying to balance keeping them as much on the school schedule as possible with spending time with him and also giving attention to all the kiddos but it was an experience I'm glad we were able to encounter. Then the time came and it was time to leave.....................................................Tears. Auntie Abigail explain to him in Twi that we were leaving to head back to America. We wanted to make sure he really understood everything we were saying in English. Oh how it hurt my heart so to say goodbye. As we were leaving, she yelled out...he's starting to cry. I immediately turn back to hug him one more time, to tell him we love him, that we would miss him and that we would come back to him. Then I walked away without looking back...I knew that I couldn't look back because if I did then I wouldn't be able to leave him or the rest of those kids because they all looked sad.

Throughout the whole trip Abigail would tell us how he responded when he got back to the home each night. He was just as excited as we were. She said on Friday night he kept waking up asking were we there yet...LOL!! Saturday morning I believe he started waking up around 4 and then every 30 minutes. Saturday night/Sunday morning he kept questioning her to ensure that we hadn't left yet and we were coming to get him from the hotel. He also began to ask when we were leaving for the states which resulting in him crying. Every night/morning he was so excited. She said he was the 1st one ready for school on Monday and the driver was teasing him because he is usually the one they are waiting on. Not that day though because he knew they were coming to pick us up.

Monday night back in Accra we spent the evening with a wonderful young Christian driver named Patrick. He is a great man; he and his wife are expecting their 1st child soon. On Tuesday, he spent his whole work day being our taxi.....humbling and honored. We got to spend the day visiting other orphanages, Auntie Comfort who runs the Fern House and eating Ghanian Pizza. Oh and I can't forget the MANGO I got for about $0.50 USD; my mouth still waters thinking about it.

I'm attaching a few pictures.....


My sweet sweet Mango thanks to Auntie Comfort and Lucy


Aunt Comfort and Precious
Some of the kiddos listening to Tyvon teach a lesson

Tyvon with one of the boys at GMI looking at pictures

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Travel Update

We are back...the trip was wonderful! I'm an emotional wreck right now as reality has captured me when I woke up this more. Thank God for my wonderful husband who is my rock. I know many of you would like to hear about our trip but right now I can't go into details because I just get really sad. I promise after I have had some time and have process things, I will give an update.

Here's something short...We met our son and he is so much like us in many ways, its unbelievable. Not only did we meet our son, we went to AFRICA...they place where our forefathers came from. We were greeted with love by many and especially this one family....Auntie Comfort, a wonderful lady in Africa doing the work of the Lord rush over to me and my hubby and just held me and wouldn't let me go......Hope this short bit explains why I just need time to process...