Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Thoughts and Emotions



Today is one of those days where I question..what in the world am I doing...lol!! I just want to cry and don't have a clear answer to why if you would ask me.

Adoption is hard. Many people think that the process is over because EJ is home. That is one of the biggest misconceptions of adoption. The process has now turned into a journey which is lifelong one! The real work started when we took him into our arms to never return him to his orphanage. Trust me, I'm not complaining but I think that people should be educated about the good and the hard of adoptions. We as adoptive families need not paint the picture that everything is all roses and ice cream. I'm not saying to expose your life or tell your child's story to the world, just be true!!

Some days are hard or maybe often frustrating. You feel like you take one step forward and two steps back in areas you are working on in this journey. Reality is that you have a stranger in your home who you are trying to learn and they are trying to learn you. Not only do they have to learn each of their new family members but our home, our culture, our procedures, our country.....the list goes on and on! So some days you will just feel like....what in the world is going on.

We don't retreat and run away....we push in harder to our love ones with time, communication and love. We seek encouragement and advice from Godly counsel. Everyone's story is different; every child's actions and reaction are different but people who have walked this road before you can be very valuable in helping you trod along this journey. Its not that one HAS to take the opinions of others but it would be beneficial to see what work and didn't work for others whose children had similar behaviors, hurts, or pasts.

Friends to adoptive families be a SUPPORT....not a naysayer!! We adoptive families aren't looking for pity however we don't need naysayers in our ears when we tell you the "truth" to the question "How's it going?"!!!

EJ is doing well...the girls are doing well. These last 2 weeks without our prompting they have really been intentional about including each other or showing concern about their siblings. He's opening up more to us which is bittersweet but it's apart of our journey. We love, press forward and make choices based on what we learn to help him heal and get adjusted to his forever family!! School is going well for him...he has his struggles but are facing them positively and eager to learn and catch up to his peers.

Ok that's enough for now...but I will leave you to ponder this verse....
"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. But the race is one by those who endure to the END....those who take each obstacle one mountain at a time...by those who fall but stand back up, dust themselves. Off and keep running (Ecclesiastes 9:11 Jamallia's version with the NLT version).



Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Has it really been a month....

So I will start out by saying...."I'm sorry; its been way too long since I posted anything!" The truth is that the end of our adoption process was TOUGH..it was hard. What I was feeling couldn't be put into words that I wanted to share on an open blog. Just say that from May to August, we were mostly laying at the feet of Jesus. I will say that our faith went to a level that we never even anticipated!! We were called to the deep (didn't know that is what God was doing) and we step out in total faith and obedience to God into one of the deepest parts of the faith OCEAN.

So let's start from there....On August 9th, Tyvon and I left for Ghana, Africa not knowing how long we would be gone and if we would return with EJ. All we knew was that we were supposed to GO right then and there! And MY GOD, OUR GOD, showed up and showed up big. He began to show himself from the minute we stepped on to Ghana soil. By Monday we had the document we needed to move to the last step and on Tuesday we knew for sure that Emmanuel Joshua was coming home with us that very same week. God continued to move and we left for America on Friday Augus 16th. We left Ghana that evening and was back in the DC area on Saturday the 17th.
 Daddy and son napping at GMI

Emmanuel's 1st airplane ride....God gave us FIRST CLASS accommodations!!

Now fast forward to a month later! Things are going well..I didn't say things were perfect but we are blessed. We have our great days or moments and then we tough days or moments. We PUSH through it which means we are doing alot of PRAYING!! Some days are just plain HARD....emotions coming from at least one person in the house on any given day...including myself. Tears, sadness, HURT, and much more are expressed but as a family we do our best to walk through it.

The girls are very excited to have their brother home! They were very welcoming from Day 1 (minus Destiny at the airport) and enjoyed getting him adjusted to life as a Petway and in the US! We have to work mostly on each child's role as a child...some think they are the momma to our newest member. We also try to balance having two of the compete to be the baby of the home...fighting over Daddy's lap or sitting right next to Momma is now REAL here at the Petway home. I started this thread last week and as I'm adding and editing to it right now, a lot has changed; today is like they all are totally Meshing together and have been living together forever.

EJ has tried various new foods; some he dislike, some he likes and some he loves! But of course SHITO is still one of his favorite things. We take the food issue day by day...it's either a HIT or MISS!! He LOVES his bike and wants to ride every day all day!! He enjoys his new school and is very eager to learn how to read. He actually has a very similar uniform at his new school in comparison to what he wore in Ghana.

We feel blessed...we feel honored that we have been chosen to raise him and help him heal from his hurts and lost. We are blessed to have him here in our family to teach us many things from his culture and way of life. The love that flows from him to us is amazing!! Affection is literally thrown at us...lol....no holding back there.  The level of comfortability he has with us is sometimes shocking but we are grateful that he feels open to share himself with us. Some of it is very painful to hear and makes me sick to my stomach. When the sharing is good, I truly enjoy the look on his face!



EJ: "Mommy I don't like that"...."Emmanuel please taste things before you say you don't like it." Two seconds later..."Mommy can I have more, this taste very good"....LOL!!!

Best friends....well at least at them moment...lol

Really their relationship is blossoming into something awesome....to God be the Glory!!

Of course...stunt time for the pic....let's pick up Triniti

One month and 4 days home with his forever family!

Mommy and Daddy's boy......love his beautiful smile!!


Petway Family better known as the PRAISE FAMILY!!! All Glory goes to GOD!!!

Emmanuel showing his sisters how to do it and to not be scared....

Book signed by the author and a quick picture with her! 

Daddy's boy!!