Adoption is messy! Adoption brings out the real in you and others surrounding you. When we decided to pursue international adoption, we knew that it would have its challenges. But can I be real...some days are harder than others. Some days I want to throw in the towel out of fear and all the many unknowns. About 2 weeks ago, a situation presented itself in the IA world and its still lurking but we trust our God is in control. When we first learn of it, I related it to an incident we encountered a few years back. When we were pregnant with our last baby girl, I had some complications and was told that I would miscarry the baby. That was IT....no consoling me, emotions nothing and walk out the room. I got dress walked back to the waiting room where my BFF Heather was waiting for me (Tyvon was away for training at the time) and looked at her a bust out in tears. When I got home, and was sitting to myself, I cried out to God. I laid hands on my belly and declared that our child would live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. Our baby girl is alive and well and will be turning 4 this year. However 2 weeks ago, I felt like we were miscarrying our paper pregnancy (adoption) and couldn't find the strengthen to muster up the FAITH that I had almost 4 years ago. But Praise be to GOD...for my great prayer group who encouraged my spirit!! This is truly an emotional journey and faith walk.
In this process you have to soley rely on what you know God has spoken to you. Not at any moment, can you take your eyes off of God. There are many moments and situations that evolves doing this process that you have no choice but to look unto HIM in EXPECTATION. During this process, God allows you to see alot about yourself. You are able to see weaknesses you didn't know you had or that you thought you had overcome. Also you are able to see how strong you are in God. Prayer is vital during this time and knowing how to respond: BE STILL or MOVE with the STRATEGY God spoke to you during prayer. And yes being paper pregnant is filled with the same feelings, emotions, symptoms as someone who is physically pregnant.
One thing for sure...God never said it would be easy. He didn't say we wouldn't get dirty. But we can rest in the fact that He said that he would never Leave Us or Forsake Us!!
Below are 2 of the Promises of God that I keep close and dear to me during this process.....
Hab 2:3 For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it testifies about the end and will not lie. Though it delays, wait for it, since it will certainly come and not be late (It will come right on time).
Ps. 25:3 No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame
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